Topher Jam Smithy - Audio

Hostess Pies

Mon, 15 Feb 2010 18:21:56 -0800

This is our parody version of "Fireflies." It's kind of hard to tell what we're saying the majority of the time so you might want to hit the read more button for lyrics. If you've already pressed it, then the lyrics should be below.

Legend:

White Text = Fat Guy (Kevin) Sings

Red Text = Hot Chick (Robert) Sings :-)

Blue Text = They Both Sing

Hostess Pies

You would not believe your eyes

If hot chicks hand fed you piles

Of Hostess treats to you on the couch

But now I have gargantuan thighs

From all of those Hostess pies

The ones that come inside a wax paper pouch

(chorus)

I’d like to get myself petite

But I’m extremely hefty

It’s hard to exercise when there’s so much weight upon my feet

And now I’ll never fit in to my old jeans

An excess of complex carbs

Are headed straight for my heart

But that’s ok ‘cause these taste so good

I’ll most likely pass away

Sometime soon later today

‘Cause the last hour I’ve put on five inches

(chorus)

I’d like to get myself petite

But I’m extremely hungry

It’s hard to eat nothing but desserts when it’s all I have to eat

And now my stomach always feels so empty

(He needs to poop)

Uh sir I think that’s quite enough

Don’t tell me what to do now

Well now I can see your protruding gut

Well then I’ll pull my shirt down

Is that an outie or an in?

Would you please shut up women?

You’ve got cherry filling on your chin

I’m actually saving that for later.

Would you like a bite of one

Apple cherry or lemon

Blueberry peach or my favorite

(whisper) blackberry

Well I think that I just might

But only a little bite

But boy they sure look good I must admit

(chorus)

I’d like to keep myself petite

But these are satisfying

There’s so much good crammed into these that it’s hard to stop eating

Scoot over please I need to take a seat

(chorus)

I’d like to get myself petite

But I’m extremely girthy

It’s hard to exercise when there’s so much weight upon my feet

And now I’ll never fit in to my old jeans

(chorus)

We’d like to get ourselves petite

But now we’re both so heavy

It’s hard to get ourselves off this couch because we’re so weighty

And now our pants are bursting at the seams (…burp)

Auto Tuned Halo

Thu, 06 Aug 2009 19:45:10 -0800

Pretty much the most awesomest thing ever!

Chris Essay

Fri, 10 Oct 2008 19:55:09 -0800

The official demotion of Chris to company mascot. The explanations are pretty obvious in the recording.

Mom Song

Fri, 10 Oct 2008 19:49:31 -0800

This is a techno remix of a recorded phone call between Chris and his mother done in the FL Studio Demo.

Maple Leaf Rag Remix

Fri, 26 Sep 2008 19:17:01 -0800

Go on ahead. Listen. you don't know what you're missing. This remix was made using vocal samples from members who can actually sing in tune.

The History of Video Games Part 2

Sat, 20 Sep 2008 10:59:08 -0800

The history of video games told by grandpa smith, part 2. If you haven't heard part 1 yet, go on ahead and listen to that one first. It may even convince you not to listen to this one at all.

The History of Video Games Part 1

Wed, 17 Sep 2008 21:44:09 -0800

The history of video games all the way from Pong to the Wii, told by grandpa smith.

Gangster's National Anthem

Tue, 09 Sep 2008 16:03:07 -0800

This is the first official TJS rap song. Although it's a parody, it's more well done than the majority of rap music that's out there. If you don't believe us, then listen. If you don't agree with us, then start venting in the comments until you're banned from the site.

Ebonics Commandments Part 2

Tue, 09 Sep 2008 15:47:49 -0800

This is part two. If you haven't heard part one yet, you should listen to that one first. You'll miss the first five commandments if you don't.

Ebonics Commandments Part 1

Tue, 09 Sep 2008 15:42:19 -0800

This is the first of a two part segment on the ten commandments in ebonics. Everything in this audio production was done live, so no bashing on the quality.