This is our parody version of "Fireflies."  It's kind of hard to tell what we're saying the majority of the time so you might want to hit the read more button for lyrics.  If you've already pressed it, then the lyrics should be below.

Legend:

  White Text = Fat Guy (Kevin) Sings

Red Text = Hot Chick (Robert) Sings :-)

Blue Text = They Both Sing

 

Hostess Pies

 

You would not believe your eyes

If hot chicks hand fed you piles

Of Hostess treats to you on the couch

 

But now I have gargantuan thighs

From all of those Hostess pies

The ones that come inside a wax paper pouch

 

(chorus)

I’d like to get myself petite

But I’m extremely hefty

It’s hard to exercise when there’s so much weight upon my feet

And now I’ll never fit in to my old jeans

 

An excess of complex carbs

Are headed straight for my heart

But that’s ok ‘cause these taste so good

 

I’ll most likely pass away

Sometime soon later today

‘Cause the last hour I’ve put on five inches

 

(chorus)

I’d like to get myself petite

But I’m extremely hungry

It’s hard to eat nothing but desserts when it’s all I have to eat

And now my stomach always feels so empty

(He needs to poop)

 

Uh sir I think that’s quite enough

Don’t tell me what to do now

Well now I can see your protruding gut

Well then I’ll pull my shirt down

 

Is that an outie or an in?

Would you please shut up women?

You’ve got cherry filling on your chin

I’m actually saving that for later. 

 

Would you like a bite of one

Apple cherry or lemon

Blueberry peach or my favorite

(whisper) blackberry

 

Well I think that I just might

But only a little bite

But boy they sure look good I must admit

 

(chorus)

I’d like to keep myself petite

But these are satisfying

There’s so much good crammed into these that it’s hard to stop eating

Scoot over please I need to take a seat

 

(chorus)

I’d like to get myself petite

But I’m extremely girthy

It’s hard to exercise when there’s so much weight upon my feet

And now I’ll never fit in to my old jeans

 

(chorus)

We’d like to get ourselves petite

But now we’re both so heavy

It’s hard to get ourselves off this couch because we’re so weighty

And now our pants are bursting at the seams  (…burp)