This is a rap about Hip Hop, Tongue Twisters, and various other random crap like Cake, Blue Elephants, and Irish Wristwatches.  This has got to be the one of the worst things we have ever made available to the public, but who cares.  It was a blast making it (and auto tuning it). 

For lyrics click "Read More"
California is where I was born-ya
I could have sworn-ya
that I saw ya
But I was too high-ya
Like the karate kid
Like I am right now which is why this stanza probably doesn't rhyme

Being a gangster gives me chills
from all the thrills
where the glass shatters
and brains splatter
but it doesn't matter
and I keep getting fatter
cuz I like cake
rock the city like an earthquake

Here is how to rap just
Download a beat then
Put it in a track
Then make rhymes that are neat
You can rap about pretty much anything you want
but if it doesn't encourage violence and alcohol and sex (and drugs) then no one will like it

Hip hop is really just the best culture ever,
'cause everyone screws their morals and they never feel better,
I have all the ladies and cars and a condo
and I also have a blue elephant

You think you have it made
Going to work just to get paid
Since I'm a hip hop artist, I really have no goals
Some other words that rhyme would be moles, poles, and trolls
And I have so much money I can forfeit my soul

You think my rhymes are bad
but my dad can beat your dad
my sentences are sad
cuz they don’t make people mad
This genre’s just a fad
It bores me like AutoCAD
And now words like rad
Aren’t very rad.

Yep, that's right, I rap how I want
but you fools will still buy it for the beat I didn't make
You might ask why I don't make my own beats
and my answer to you is
IT’s HARD!!!!

I bet you don't know how 50 cent got his name
but if you listen to me I will try to explain
He sits in the spotlight making all the dough
while all the talented people sit in cubicles like hoes

He pays them 50 cents just for an entire day
But they can't get work elsewhere so they just have to stay
I think you understand how much talent he has though,
because it basically amounts to a big fat zero

I have three sisters and I’m good a tongue twisters
(wait…you don’t have 3 sisters)
…but I’m good at tongue twisters

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck
if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
It would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could
if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

Irish wristwatch
(4x)

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.
A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked.
If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,
where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?

A noise annoys an oyster but a noisy noise annoys an oyster most
(2x)

Betty Botter had some butter,
"But," she said, "this butter's bitter.
If I bake this bitter butter
it would make my batter bitter.
But a bit of better butter
that would make my batter better."

So she bought a bit of butter
better than her bitter butter,
and she baked it in her batter,
and the batter was not bitter.
So 'twas better Betty Botter
bought a bit of better butter.

(Random beat boxing harmoniously accompanied by scat solo)

 


Comments

Professional Journalist

Fri, 29 Jan 2010 17:11:23

This is something I would definitely write about on my important news website.

 

Moe

Mon, 22 Mar 2010 19:29:59

this is hilarious. amazing

 



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    TJS Music

    I was requested to make a page dedicated to just our music.  No audio recordings or Improv' skits on this page, just hard-core techno beats.  We may end up putting our Raps on this page too.  This is all music that we've made from scratch the past few years.  Enjoy. 

    Oh yeah, and by the way, we rate our own music and we rate it tough.  there's always things we can do to improve and there's no such thing as a perfect 5/5 song.  Except maybe "Dueling Banjos."

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