Join the National Glasses Association in celebration of America's love for being able to see things during the first annual National Glasses Day. Come enjoy an experience for a select audience: live musical entertainment (featuring "Glass-talica", "Sight 182", and "Opthalmologist Boy"), and educational and interactive displays about the past, present and future of glasses wearing. Major events will take place in Philadelphia, Washington, DC, Chicago and Los Angeles. Smaller events will include:
Denver, CO
Tampa, FL
Loganville, GA
Dubuque, IA
Kalamazoo, MI
Dearborn, MI
Meridian, MS
Brooklyn, NY
Burbank, OH
Norman, OK
Portland, OR
Gaffney, SC
Jackson, TN
Houston, TX
Dallas and Fort Worth, TX
Lacey, WA
Sturtevant, WI
From 12 am - 3 am (it was the most we could afford) at the major station events, you can enjoy the interactive Looking At Things Station, displays of model glasses as well as real glasses and historic monocles, displays of people wearing real glasses, displays of people wearing display glasses looking at displays of glasses, paintings from notable vision-impaired artist H. Wallace Sightmore and more. Bring the young ones to the Youth Sight Booth for educational hands-on activities (picking out new glasses, teasing people who wear contacts, and even making our own glasses out of saran wrap and pipe cleaner), appearances by MPR's This American Life, magicians, face painters, eye-doctors, pickpockets, face-painting magicians, magicians who can paint your face from really far away, eye-painters and lots of old people with hearing problems who don't know how to use a microphone. National Glasses Association employees, such as lens crafters and professional glasses wearers, will also be on hand to answer any questions you might be able to actually come up with.
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition star and celebrity carpenter and tool-belt wearer Ty Pennington will join NGA in celebrating America's love for being able to function normally ina text-based society and act as the national spokesperson, appearing in Washington, DC for the first annual National Glasses Day. Lets all hope he can persuade the government to see all that glasses-wearers have to offer society. For more information about National Glasses Day events, promotions and tours of real live glasses manufacturers visit
Do ya wanna smoke some weed? Yeah, I do We can all hang out afta’ schoo’
You know we don’t do homework ‘cause we don’t care ‘bout our grades All we care about is giving people aids
It’s all I’ll do ‘till I’m thirty and I have to get a job Then I know what I’ll do. I’ll find a store to rob
Bein’ gangta’s cool. I like it a lot. I’ll do it always with my friends until we all get shot.
Yeah! Yeeah! We’re represent’n! Hay! TJS! Sun Baby Powerup! Woo-ewh!
Me and my homies was a-walkin’ ‘round town Our like pants were a-like-a-hangin’ down
I saw some fools be ballin’ in the street So I asked them all if they’d like to be beat I balled all around them sucka’s into the hoop But I had to go fast ‘cause I needed to take a poop
We’ll give you the finger if we see you driven’ We’ll run over fido if it looks like he be muggin’
What is this? Do I need to pull out my AK? Yeah Let’s go Lets get him Get him! Get him! It’s probably one of those guys from the Mormon Church Wait, Wait, Wait! Let me…Let me…can I…get out my machine gun? Your machine gun? Ooooooooooh!
We got all our tattoos and our fine bling-bling But we aint so fly when mamma gives us a ring-ring These words may not fit because we can’t sing-sing But we still get all the white girlies and give them the shwing-shwing
I make sick hand gestures when I rap But I know it’s all just a load of crap
Us gangsta’s in the hood. We like were we at So go on ahead and give us more high hat.
Forget about all them Country singers Every time I wave at them I don’t use all my fingers
I was out drivin’ late ghost ridin’ the whip It was a jolly good time ‘till I broke my hip
Obama, son. He’s black like me and you But he don’t go rollin’ with my gangster crew
‘Cause every time we touch I get this feeling And every time we(I) kiss I swear I can fly Can’t you feel my heart beat fast. I want this to last (I) Need you by my side
‘Cause every time we touch I feel the static And every time we kiss I reach for the sky Can’t you feel my heart beat so (fast). I can’t let you go (I) Want you in my life
The moral of the story, I guess there aint none But heed this warnin’ I gonna kill you son
For everyone, even if you don’t have a cell phone yet (Just wait for your mom to buy you one, I’m sure if you keep begging you’ll get it). (This should be printed and kept in your car, purse, wallet, house, hidden in a secret compartment in your room, put in a time capsule, and painted on your house. If you do not do this you will probably die eventually.
*(EDITORS NOTE: My Grandpa didn’t do all this and, lo and behold, he died just a week ago!)There are a few things that can be done in times of grave emergencies, or just to screw around with your friends.Your mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for survival; it can even be a perfect weapon! Check out the things you can do with it:
FIRST Talking
Most phones have a 3x4 row of numbers and symbols on them. Different combinations of these numbers will start to emit a strange beeping noise, and, with some luck, make a magic voice come out of the phone. Sometimes the magic voice is angry, but most of the time it is a great way to relax. It’s better than real conversation, because the person isn’t there, so you can make funny faces and act like you are the person on the other side of the phone.
(EDITORS NOTE: Yep, I tried pressing some numbers and a voice came on eventually. Haven’t tried writing down any numbers, but I might get to that eventually.
SECOND Have you wanted to know what your friends are thinking?
Do your friends and people around always frustrate you because you never know what’s going on inside their head? Well, some phones now come with a feature that can solve this little dilemma. If you own a cell phone, make sure that you know your friend’s number. Now, while holding, star, asterisk, and the talk button, dial your friends number. But before your friend picks up, you have to press #91#*. Then, if all went well, you should be dialed right in to your friends stream of consciousness. Most people don’t notice a difference from an actual cell phone conversation, but this can be a fun way to get into a friends head. Not only can you hear their thoughts, but you can put in your own thoughts! Try making some spooky ghost noises, or convincing the person that they should give you lots of money.
(EDITORS NOTE: I’ve had some trouble with this one, but usually it works. I found these really great magic mind reading crystals off this site:www.crystal-cure.com, that really improved my chances of success. I can afford these now, since that nice Nigerian Prince man offered me a lot of money.)
THIRD Hidden Power
When you’re feeling really low, some cell phones now have an ability to supercharge you. To activate, press *33738. You will feel a sudden burst of amazing power! Some people have reported the ability to fly, others can shoot laser vision, and some people were able to talk to fish. Just remember, like my old gramps used to say: with great power comes great responsibility.
(EDITORS NOTE: Can’t write, too busy flying over neighbors yards and peeking into their houses. Scares the living daylights right out of the kids.)
FOURTH How to disable a thief who stole your mobile phone?
Believe it or not, most cell phones come with a pre-installed plastic explosive charge inside them. First, you have to find the activation code. Dial *#06, and write down the activation phrase. Mine was “Manhattan”. Make sure to keep that code somewhere safe, like where you used to keep your cell phone. Then, once your cell phone gets taken, simply dial in the activation phrase, and the phone will explode, usually taking out a hefty chunk of thief with it. While this is TYPICALLY lethal, it also makes a fun practical joke you can play on your friends. Just set the phone down next to a friend, and call it until he answers it. Then, send the activation, and BOOM! Surprise! They’ll get a kick out of it every time.
(EDITORS NOTE: Okay…So...Some friends just can’t take a joke as well as others...Hehe, sorry guys! No hard feelings!)
FIFTH Free Money! Chuck Norris Appears!
If you’re like me, you’re always looking for a way to make some easy money! Well, now you can! Just dial a special number, $$$, and Chuck Norris jumps out of the nearest helicopter and hands you a fat wad of cash before jumping off to a different continent. He appreciates it if you don’t talk to him. The money is yours! Buy another phone! Buy a friend! Buy some happiness!
(EDITORS NOTE: Happiness is non-refundable)
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This Page is a collection of all of our text based projects. If you want the lyrics to any of our songs, they should be on this page; if not, leave us a comment.
